This is the year of my 40-year high school reunion. Yes,
that is four-zero. Forty. Yikes! Somehow turning 58 last week didn’t
make me feel as old as realizing it’s been 40 years since I graduated from high
school. 40 years!! That’s two generations ago. Good heavens!
When I first heard about the 40-year reunion, I was not
enthusiastic. I went to the 10-year reunion and found it to be pretty much a
rehash of high school, with all the same people mostly hanging out in all the
same groups. I found that I still didn’t like the people at the reunion whom I
didn’t like in high school – seriously, two of the guys who were most annoying
in school were still trying to look down my shirt at the reunion. Pffft. (And
really – why? I was as flat-chested as could be at 18 and still so at 28. Move
along, you dorks, there is nothing to see here!)
In addition, even discounting the ogling dorks, I was
mildly uncomfortable at the 10-year reunion. Few of the people
with whom I had been close attended, I had nothing in common with those who did
attend, and I felt as out-of-place at the reunion as I had done in high school.
In the end, I escaped to a local restaurant to eat and laugh with a
few select people; we caught up on each other’s lives and had a rockin’ good
time, but that extracurricular event didn’t give me warm fuzzies about reuniting
with my fellow ‘75 graduates ever again.
Given all that, my initial reaction to hearing of the 40th
reunion was somewhere along the lines of “It’s been 40 years, folks! I haven’t
seen most of you in at least 30 of those years, so why would I want to see you
now? And, by the way, it’s stinkin’ HOT in Texas in August. Are ya nuts?”
Guess what, though – I’m going to the reunion, and I’m
pretty excited about it, too! Let me tell you why. First, we’re all almost 60!
Good golly, surely we have grown up some! Second, one word, Facebook!
Some fabulous soul(s) created a Reunion page on Facebook where
we can see information about the reunion events, read updates from the planning
meetings, and more. Some talented folks have uploaded (and tagged!) yearbook
and class photos from elementary through high school, individual senior pictures,
and snapshots taken at parties and at the lake, all for our entertainment and viewing
pleasure. People have posted open-ended questions, requesting input on
everything from “What was the worst trouble you got into in high school?” to
“Tell us about your family” to “Who remembers Chapel Hill (the “parking”
place)?” and on and on.
Here’s the interesting and fun part: people are commenting
on the photos and responding to the questions. No guile, no embarrassment, no cliques;
just honest replies that are giving us new information about our classmates and
their lives, both then and now. I’ve laughed while reading hilarious stories
involving contraband on school-sponsored trips, “papering” of people’s houses,
and horrifying first dates. I’ve cried over the stories of people who at the
time seemed to have the world on a string, but who have now revealed the
insecurity or sadness or frightfulness of what their lives really were back
then.
This sharing has given me new insight regarding my
classmates and has made me think a little differently about my high-school
experience. My family moved into the school district in the middle of my 7th-grade
year, so I didn’t have friendships in high school that went back to
kindergarten. I came from a military background where everyone was new every school
year. I was unprepared for a bunch of classmates who already had all the
friends they needed. Sure, I made plenty of friends through the years, but I
never felt as if I truly fit in with those people who had known each other
forever, and I was much too shy to just leap into the fray and get to know them
better (or at all).
Now, though, I am not so shy and I am getting to know the
people who post on the 40th-Reunion Facebook page. Some classmates have sent me
“friend” requests so I see what they post on their own pages, too, and they
comment on the posts on my page. I’ve also emailed, texted, and/or spoken on
the phone with some of my high school friends and acquaintances. Interestingly,
even when we remember that we were all there, we don’t all have the same memories
of high school happenings, friendships, events, and so forth. I guess we, as
teenagers, were so spectacularly self-absorbed that our memories are skewed
based on our own individual viewpoints at the time. That’s pretty funny from my
perspective as a 58-year-old! I can’t wait to hear more stories that completely
conflict with my own memories. What a hoot!
Yup, I’m enthused about this reunion. This year, I betcha we
will all stroll in, look around at the chubby, balding, and/or white-headed
crowd, and feel good in our own skin. There will be no adolescent,
self-absorbed worrying about what anyone thinks of us or if anyone will like us or if
we’ll be able to make new friends. So many of us have already connected or
reconnected that no one should feel uncomfortable walking in the door. And, I
suspect this time we will all take away
the same memories.