For years, one of the most ridiculous issues my sister and I had with our mom
was her refusal to admit she had some hearing loss. Even sitting face-to-face
with us, unless we were speaking very loudly, her initial response to
everything we said was either “What?” or “Huh?” When I pressed her about having
her hearing checked, she told me in no uncertain terms that she could hear everyone
except me just fine and she would hear me, too, if I would stop mumbling.
Now, let me just say right here that if there is one
thing everyone who knows me knows, it is that I don’t mumble. In fact, I am
loud. I always have been loud. Once I went home for the weekend with a college
friend whose dad worked nights. When we arrived, her dad was asleep. After we’d
been talking quietly for about an hour, she suddenly said, “Oh my gosh! I’ve
been trying to figure out what’s weird about our conversation and it just hit me.
You’re being really quiet! I’ve never heard you speak quietly before.” (By the
way, that was embarrassing. I tried to be quieter all the time. I couldn’t. I
still cannot.)
My sister almost laughed herself sick when I told her
about the mumbling comment, said, “Mumble? You? She’s even more deaf than I
thought if she thinks you mumble,” and then laughed some more. She also
confided that she could cheerfully backhand the next person who said, “Huh?” to
her because she was so tired of hearing it when she talked to Mother.
Mother never did admit to hearing loss and never did have
her hearing checked. Her inability to hear us was a source of both annoyance
and amusement for Susan and me until she died. As a result, we both swore to
eschew vanity and go for hearing aids when needed.
I noticed a while back that ambient noise was becoming a
problem. In a loud setting, I couldn’t always understand what people were
saying. That made me nervous, so I had my hearing checked. The highest range of
tones were inaudible to me, but I could hear all the normal things. The nice
technician explained that the ambient noise problem is common and not to worry
until I can’t hear well in a more normal setting. Whew!! That was a relief!
Fast forward to a couple months ago. A friend and I
decided to stop at Target on our way somewhere. While ambling around in there, we
had this conversation:
Margaret: Do you know if they have blah-blah-blah here?”
Me: If they have what?
Margaret: I need blahblah.
Me: Sorry, I didn’t understand what you said. What are we
looking for?
Margaret (speaking very slowly and distinctly): Hearing
aid batteries.
A pause while we look at each other, then start laughing.
Margaret: Well, that was a little ironic, wasn’t it?
Anybody seen a hearing-aid center around here?